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Mamacyn, your hospital parenting blog sounds wonderful and so needed! Keep writing for it!

Your family situation sounds exactly like what my long-suffering mother went through with her female in-laws. MIL and SIL always hated her for taking away their precious son/brother. I suspect misplaced resentment has been around for a few centuries and it doesn’t get any easier to deal with!

My own female in-laws frequently treated me badly when my husband wasn’t around and my hubby inherited their negativity. Even my step-kids still blame me for taking their dad away from them, though their parents had been divorced for 3 years before we ever met.

So, there hasn’t been much encouragement or support for my writing, but I’ve published essays, articles and books anyway. Anything “personal” in my writing has, of course, been attacked! I’ve recently been in a dark place from the “aloneness,” but I’m learning additional writing skills and moving my website to WordPress, etc. to keep the creativity going while my much needed employment drains my energy. I refuse to be defeated by envious, spiteful people, so will continue to include personal experience as I inch back into full-time writing. You do the same!

Thanks so much Andy. Yeah, my husbands mother and sister hate me for no reason other than the fact that I took their son/brother away – BTW they are both single (go figure). I will do my best to take your wonderful advice! Take care, Mamacyn

Wow, thanks for your comment. It would be great to get other people chiming in on this one. I don’t know if it helps at all but I think most of us probably have one or two people in our lives similar to your sister-in-law. They have a way of saying something about what we do, what we are trying to do, or what we dream of doing, that just completely deflates us/takes the wind from our sails.

One of the things that I have learned is to just persevere and attempt to ignore those snarky, cynical voices, reminding myself of why I write and who I write for. Clue; it’s not for them. I also have an email folder with all the encouraging messages I receive from people so that when I do hit the inevitable periods of deflation I can go there and remind myself again of why I write and who I write for.

Obviously I don’t know anything about your personal situation or what your sister-in-law said but I know, especially in families people can feel entitled to ‘know what’s best for your life’, and to say whatever they want.

I would say, know WHY you’re doing it, WHO you’re doing it for, and that you are not alone. It’s an inevitable part of being vulnerable/creative. If there wasn’t a risk involved then people wouldn’t be critical, envious, or cynical. Please don’t give up!

YES! I love that concept. I have experienced the ‘creative formation in its own time, in unexpected ways’ so many times, despite my impatience. Little seeds of ideas, or creative nuggets that don’t fully form until all of a sudden everything slips into place. The need to surrender always trumps the inclination to force when it comes to the creative process. Very nicely articulated, Jackie!

Andy~ I can totally relate to the feeling of my accomplishments not being good enough. I can struggle with projecting my own timelines, expectations, or thoughts about how things should look, onto a goal or project. However, like you said, this can create a cycle of perpetual dissatisfaction. For me mindfulness/connecting to the body is helpful as is putting myself into a mindset of surrendering. Surrendering to the process, to a larger wisdom that creative work comes to form in it’s own time, in often unexpected ways. Of course this is easier said than done sometimes. Just gotta keep flexing the presence muscles 🙂

That’s great news, Jami! So glad that this came through at the right time. Sometimes it’s really important to step back from the pressure we put on ourselves. You hit the nail on the head; not only does it help our general wellbeing, but it also allows us to look at our creative projects/potential creative work with fresh eyes. Stepping away can feel counter-productive, but is so often exactly what we need to do to take things to the next level. I hope you manage to find an exciting way back into your story!!

Yeah you are!! Thanks, Bruce!

Thanks, Jackie! I know the feeling and I love that insight. Our bodies cannot live anywhere but in an ever state of now, and yes our minds carry us away. With creative goals this can be huge. And I don’t know about you but for me if I’m not careful no goal that I meet is ever good enough. If I’ve done enough to hit a target then that means the target needs shifting. This is fine with the right perspective; not so good if it’s seen through a lens of perpetual dissatisfaction, which I sometimes slip into. I find breathing/meditation practice very helpful in the process of reconnecting to my body – I love the way you put it! 🙂