I got a new job!
We're having a baby!
My baby is going to college!
By the way, only one of those is true for me and all four have given me insane amounts of anxiety. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am a lifelong-currently-medicated anxiety sufferer so the idea of change has made it almost impossible for me to swallow, and certainly impossible for me to mentally navigate my way through the steps to the new frontier waiting for me at times. I've experienced a Brittany Spears style mental breakdown (minus the head shaving), crying and shaking, and the desperate fear of pretend bankruptcy and situations that basically scared the bejesus out of me for no reason. You couldn't have told me there was no reason to freak out at the time but hey... hindsight.
Wanna know a secret? I actually LOVE the idea of change until it smacks me in the face. Notice I said the idea of change because when it comes right down to it, the process is really scary and blinding at times. When you're a big picture type of person like I am, sometimes the stepping stones, including the first step of actually making a decision to change, is paralyzing. Can you relate?
Imagine that you're stuck in a job that drains your energy, makes you grouchy once you get home, pays well but steals your soul. Never-mind having any time you have at home with your family and friends, you're spent. You wake up each morning exhausted and dreading the day, begrudgingly haul your butt to work where you mindlessly maneuver the day without any major hiccups, but also without any real inspiration either. Finally, in a quick moment of excitement or sheer desperation you apply for your dream job that you've always figured was out of your reach.
You interview for the job.
You nail the interview.
You WANT this job!
You NEED this joy!
You are freaking terrified of the job for a laundry list of reasons.
You're offered the job.
So, do you take the job? It's a BIG change! It's a life changing opportunity that could open potential that is beyond anything you've experienced in the job you've had for the past however many years. What goes through your mind?
If you're like me, panic happens. I have to admit that I am often guilty of fearing the things that excite me the most. I have been known to immediately second guess my abilities so I can discount that I might even be great at what this dream job is, ask myself why I thought this ever sounded like a good idea in the first place, and completely discount every quality or positive feeling I have! Here's the kicker, I nearly always accept the change. I have to admit, I sound ridiculous and I'm happy to say that now I only freak out about half as much as I used to but it has been a looooong process.
So what 12 step plan did I take that changed my perception from having to create scary changes to focusing on the opportunity to increase my choices?
Imagine with me if you will ...
Instead of being held hostage by a lack of creative ideas on HOW to get from A to B we let ourselves get totally jazzed about all of the potential opportunities that will spring up once we decide to take the leap and go for what we want? What if we stopped trying to figure out how things will happen and trust that all the opportunities that spring up along the way are actually the right steps for us and that those baby steps are taking us closer to our goal? Sounds crazy, right?
If you're thinking that maybe I've lost my marbles, let me give you a totally true example of how this happens. This actually has happened to me over and over in my life and most of those times I was too busy panicking (or herding kids) to notice, but at one point about four years ago I was ready to change jobs. I knew I had to leave where I was working but I had zero ideas on where to go or what to do. I considered applying to go back to teaching full time but I knew that balancing a full-time job with four kids and coaching swimming was way too much. I tossed around the idea of amping up my Avon sales again but as much as I like a couple of their products, I didn't want that to be my identity. I considered two or three other so-so ideas but flushed those away too. I felt defeated and stuck with no idea how I was going to make things work so I could leave my job.
Let me tell you how this went - this is back in the panic days.
I cried. A lot. I cried because I was quitting a job I didn't want at all, but because I also felt bad for leaving a business that my dad had built, and I felt like I had to stick it out even thought he was 100% fine with me quitting. I still cried and felt horrible and yes, I know it was irrational. Anxiety often is.
I second-guessed my ability to find another job where I would make any money that made it worth my time to go to work because I was " just a teacher" or "just a mom" or just a whatever ... I discounted myself and my abilities.
I felt stupid. I felt incapable of having a career I wanted and that I was good at. I cried some more out of self-pity and anger. (Yes, I cry when I'm angry and scared, not when I'm sad.)
I decided to quit anyway.
Here's the best part. Ready? I went to drop off my son's swim bag and ran into a friend who was dropping her daughter off for school at the same time. This friend of mine also happened to be my former boss and when I saw her, she told me she had been wanting to see if I was ready to come back to my old job teaching part time. .... Let me say that again. A job part-time, where I would make more than the job I had been wanting to leave, teaching part-time writing and current events. I can teach anyone and writing nd current events are cake for me. BAM! And just like that, the next step showed up. I called my mom, my dad, my husband, giggled with baffled amazement, skipped around thanking God for stepping in and setting things up. (Gratitude and appreciation are everything here, guys.)
As soon as I decided to quit my job, I stopped trying to create change and started noticing that opportunities were all around me. Those opportunities were all there before, I was simply too busy trying to sift through fear and scarcity to see all of the choices I had sitting right in front of me. The more I stepped back, the more opportunities I had to choose what I wanted and to take the steps that have led me to where I am right now. I never would have seen health and life coaching as an option for me if I didn't let go and take a giant leap into the unknown. I love this job and what it allows me to do to help people! My biggest problem right now is that there are so many choices and so many ways that I am able to do what I want, that I have to narrow it down. I want to choose them all. Its crazy when people ask me what I do and I tell them, "I help teens and adults transform their bodies & get energized to life their best lives" but I want to give a list of what I can actually do. I feel like a magician some days. So if you ask me if I help people lose weight, the answer is yes but.... because there is SO MUCH MORE waiting for the people I help than a smaller size and that is what gets me excited.
So which side do you stand on; are you a fan of change or do you dread it? Does the idea of switching it up bring feelings of anxiety and resistance, or excited fear that fuels creativity? If you could wave that magic wand I keep asking about RIGHT NOW and do one thing, what would you do? I'm so excited to be able to offer the help you might need to get started making changes that you want and I'd love to hang out and talk with you for a Ditch the Diet Breakout session. The session is totally free and totally eye-opening. You'll leave ready to tackle your wants and get the life you've been wishing for. Don't worry if you don't live in Northeast Indiana, I do all of my coaching over the phone and online so I'm absolutely able to talk to you too. The sooner you start, the sooner you can be rocking all of the exciting possibilities that are waiting for you. I can't wait to chat!